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  • January
    • Jan 02 "What I Learned Watching Battlestar Galactica"
    • Jan 03-04 & Mar 17 "Will There Be Blank On Mars?"
    • Jan 06 "Feeling Star Treky"
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    • Jan 09 "Information vs. Knowledge"
    • Jan 10-13 "What I Learned Watching Star Trek"
    • Jan 16 "No Matter Where You Go--That's Right--There You Are"
    • Jan 21 "A Theory of Believability"
    • Jan 27-28 "Gateway to the Secrets of Manifold Wheat Production"
    • Jan 30--Feb 05 "How NOT To Lie or Paris-the-First-Time, Part I"
  • February
    • Feb 05 "Bloody Rock Yielding Territorial Baboon"
    • Feb 14-20 "How NOT to Lie or Between Two Parises" Parts I & II
    • Feb 21, 22 and 28th "How NOT to Lie or Between Two Parises" Part III
    • Feb 27 "Who the Fuck Keeps Money in an Umbrella?"
  • March
    • Mar 01 "Exile"
    • Mar 02 "Snowy is Right: Some People Never Learn!"
    • Mar 03 "Goddamned Sanctity of Life!"
    • Mar 04-Mar 21 "Parsley, Sage, Kierkegaard and Time"
    • Mar 07 "Use a God You Trust"
    • Mar 08 and 09 "The Vinegar Tasters"
    • Mar 10 "Long Live Portlandia"
    • Mar 13 "Classic Films Reinterpreted"
    • Mar 14 "Classic Comics Rewritten"
    • Mar 29-31 "San Francisco"
  • April
    • April 02-03 "The Goddamned Sanctity of Life Part II: The Bee"
    • April 16 "Classic Films Reinterpreted"
    • April 20 "The Eclipse, The Red Planet and One True Love"
    • April 30 "The 706 (705)"
  • May
    • May 23
  • My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza-pies
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  • Things I Hope To Never See On Mars
  • "Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands"
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  • Ethics, Morals, Principles and Ideals
February 11, 2014

An early end

1:13am
I was just woken up with alarming news--the Belgica II is sunk! They haven't even been gone for 24 hours yet--what the hell did they do?
3:45am
I have chartered a helicopter out to the site of the wreckage. Hopefully there will be some clues as to what might have happened. The helicopter ride costs more than the cardboard ship and the rats combined.
5:05am
Well the whole ship and her crew are gone. A cardboard safe-box was recovered, hopefully holding some key information as to how the Belgica II met her end. Perhaps Captain Fluffer-Nutter has somehow redeemed the mission with quick thinking and a sealed note of some kind?
6:19am
Managed to get a few photos of the destruction. 
I honestly can't figure out how anything caught on fire.
Picture
8:33am
It turns out that the cardboard safe-box wasn't a great idea--the ocean has turned it into little more than a handful of brown water-logged pulp. . If there was a note inside, we will never know what it said. I'm not even sure any of the rats could write.
9:56am
Upon reflection, I might have made actual sails for the ship instead of just cardboard cutouts of furled canvas taped to the rigging. 

Surely, the whole experiment wasn't a waste. One of the things that the 47th-generation photocopied 6-page paperback book about the Second Grade Science Method claimed was that "even a wrong guess is a valuable discovery".......
10:12am
Yeah, I don't think there was a valuable discovery.
11:49am
Feeling pretty blue about the whole thing. I honestly thought I was on to something.  I keep asking myself: what did I do wrong? Was it writ that the Belgica II would sink, before I'd even constructed her? If I had been more intuitive, could I have sensed the impending disaster? Did I choose the wrong grade of cardboard? 
No--I can't think like this. It is not my fault. It is not anybody's fault. Whether the circumstances that led to the Belgica II's demise were pre-ordained or simply the result of the bewildering randomness of the universe, the fact is they are gone. I can't blame myself. 
If I have to blame someone, I'll blame Captain Fluffer-Nutter. He probably did something wrong anyway. 

1:05pm
Oh my God! I completely forgot about the control group!
3:19pm
Well, this is embarrassing... maybe I am not cut out for science--I completely forgot about the control group! I had left them in their box in my backyard, but it looks like maybe an owl or hawk or a cat or something ate them all.  In any case, what smudges and smears are left of them on the patio are not going to be participating in the experiment any longer.

Does this count as a control? They all died. The experimental group all died, also. 

Does this confirm the concept of polar madness? Did they experience Subliminal Distraction in a timeline different than our own? Maybe there wasn't owl or hawk or cat. Maybe they killed each other. And who is to say the Belgica II didn't suffer the same fate? After all, a rats life and a human's life are perceived differently in the time continuum. Maybe everything was accelerated.

Maybe I am a scientist after all!   Because "...even a wrong guess is a valuable discovery"!



The question: Will the astronauts murder each other?
My Guess:  No


valuable discovery






His Guess:  Yes


correct guess
 I can do this.


Next: The Franklin Expedition
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