January 9, 2014
Information VS Knowledge
I filled out the writing portions of my application for Mars One primarily in San Francisco. Mars One posed questions that I wanted to answer faithfully and to do this was a challenge when there was a character limit. I really enjoyed the process of distilling my thoughts down to the bare essentials. Forcing myself to edit out every single unnecessary word and still retain a coherent story flow was not only a challenge but kind of exciting. What really needed to be said to get my intention across? It was like a puzzle and I LOVE puzzles.
When I got back to Portland it was time to do the part I was dreading: the video portion. I was not looking forward to seeing myself on video (is it still called video? I feel like I am dating myself...) or hearing myself speak. It just sounded uncomfortable. My plan was to download a movie editing app and shoot it on my iPad. Then, using my magically acquired editing skills, I would whittle it down to the required 30-70 seconds. This way I could get rid of all the "ums" and ""ahs", take out the long pauses, etc. Essentially, my plan was to edit my video so that I looked as brilliant but accessible as possible..
As usual, my plans did not exactly pan out. Luckily, I am used to this plan-thwarting universe and I can (sometimes) recognize the thwarting as a good thing---if I can get over myself. The need to control stuff is a natural survival instinct that is not always in my best interest. The problem with my video was that there were THREE questions to answer and hardly any time to do it. Frankly, I think whoever designed the Mars One application is kind of brilliant--it really pushed just far enough that the entire process was doable, but only if you were serious and willing to commit.
So, the three questions were:
1. Why do you want to go to Mars?
2. What do you have to offer Mars?
3. Describe your sense of humor.
Yikes! Number three! I think the wisdom of the ages has collectively agreed that humor is one of the most elusive things in existence. How the frak am I supposed to describe my sense of humor? Hence, my plan: I will utilize my sense of humor to answer the other two questions, thus leaving more time for the first two without ignoring the third. I had a feeling not answering one would lead straight to the cutting room floor.
After 25 or so takes, I realized my plan sucked. Typically, I find myself able to pick things up with a certain amount of ease---experientially, I learn fast. But this video-shooting-performing-and-editing thing was ridiculous. The only way I was going to be able to make this work was if I did it in one take. Crikey.
I took a break and went to the grocery store. I was feeling a little defeated. My writing submissions, I felt, were going to be good---but this video thing was going to kill me. I shook my fist towards sky, yelling: "MAAAAAARRRSS! YOU BASTARD!!! Just kidding. I didn't do that. Would have been a little silly in the cereal isle. But, I did feel like doing something.
What I did felt a little silly after I did it, but it unexpectedly gave me a whole new lease on video making. This is what happened:
I went to the checkout counter to purchase my groceries. There was a young man standing at the end of the conveyer belt dragging my stuff over the scanner. Now, I fancy myself intuitive and like to imagine that sometimes I have Superpowers of Intuition--an extra sense that allows me to know more, perceive more, and understand more. (This is not really true. There is nothing "Super" about it. It is mostly accessible when I am in the present moment--and I think it must work this way for anyone.) However, it was apparent to me and my "Superpowers" that the young man checking my groceries was not happy. He was not rude or inappropriate in any way he just exuded "glumness"--and I felt a flash of empathy. I, too, have stood for long lengths of time at a checkstand, trying not to look at the clock, wondering how the frak my life landed me "here". Who really knows why he may have been glum, I just assumed, at that moment, that his job had something to do with it.
I behaved normally. I did not want to intrude on his bad day. He greeted me, barely looking up, and I said what I always say, smiling: "Hi, how is your day going?" He heaved a subtle sigh and acknowledged that it was "fine". Usually, I will attempt to chat a bit just in the name of acknowledging the human being not 2 feet away from me., but in this case, I didn't want to bug him and decided to leave him be. After a few silent moments he glanced up at me briefly and said, "So...what are you doing today?". I paused a half-moment as all these thoughts flooded my brain; "What am I doing today? I'm trying to get to fucking Mars that's what I am doing today!!". I tilted my head a little and frowned. Maybe my day might make his day more interesting. I leaned in a bit, and looked around conspiratorially and stage whispered, "Do you really want to know what I am doing today?"
He gave me a polite half shrug and a "Sure, why not?" But there was also a tiny spark of "what could she be doing that caused her to preface it with that?"
I leaned in further: "I am trying to finish my application to be a colonist on Mars." Then I stood back, with my eyebrows raised.
What do you think of that, checker guy?
Now, I had his attention. He actually paused scanning groceries for a moment before he resumed. He looked at me, disbelieving. "Mars? The planet Mars?"
I exaggerated my head nod---big bobbing motion: "Yep. The planet Mars." Eyebrows raised.
Now, we were engaged in a conversation. He straightened up a little and started asking questions. First, kind of incredulous and suspicious that I might be pranking him and then questions that transformed into a believing disbelief. At some point in our interaction he stopped and smiled and said, "Well, I'll tell you one thing: you're the most interesting person I've met today."
At some point I learned that he is not supposed to do cashiering and he does not like it. Normally he works in the back.
We finished our conversation while I paid for my groceries. He asked me a lot of questions I didn't know the answers to, and I tried not to pretend I knew something I didn't. (Super hard!). As we parted he smiled and I got my first "Good luck.....I guess!" (with many more to follow. This would later turn into "Congratulations.....I guess.")
I left uplifted. I had no way of knowing if our interaction meant anything to this young man (did I mention how cute he was?) but it did something for me. My perception was shifted. He had changed my day. I went home, put the groceries away and finally, later that afternoon, had my video. (Which, by the way, was only allowed to be 69 seconds--my 70 second video, when I went to upload it, was proclaimed too long by the Mars One site. I wanted to scream. Shaving off that last second took another hour!)
So, what's this all about anyway? The title of January 9th is "Information vs. Knowledge" and my visit with this person was the first time I started pondering this concept. He asked me questions that, when I heard them, I thought, "It would make sense that someone who claims to want to go to Mars would have bothered to find this out already. What is wrong with me?" The questions were pretty basic, really, and I couldn't believe I had hadn't been so engrossed in the whole endeavor that I didn't know EVERYTHING there was to know about it.
-How long did it take to get there?
-Was there going to be a place to live when I got there or did I have to build it?
-How many people were they looking for?
_How many people had applied already?
Hmmm..I didn't know the answers to ANY of these questions, and I felt kind of...dumb. So, I camouflaged my ignorance with things I did know. I deflected with other information: "That's a good question, I don't know, did you know we can never come back?"
I made a mental commitment to look this stuff up later and fast.
The interesting part: I didn't.
The question: why not? It makes sense, right? Wouldn't I want to know as much as possible? Am I not a seeker of knowledge with the strong "characteristics of a learner"? I look words up in the dictionary regularly--I love knowing stuff. A reference in a book/magazine/movie/TV show/conversation/song and I am on it for no other reason than I want to know, life can be interesting and the more I learn, the greater my perception is of "the whole". Is that a real place? Where is it, exactly? What did that person do? What were the basic tenets of that philosophy again? How does this work, that look, what did they do, how do those do whatever it is the frak they do?
And yet, I am ready to step on a spaceship, leave Earth forever, without needing to know all that much about it--at least for now.
And that's the crux of it, isn't it? What do I need to know right now?
It appears that this is a pattern in my life: I am drawn to knowledge, but kind of repelled by information.
My passion for Mars has prompted me to seek knowledge but shy away from information. Instead of judging myself for not being something I am not, I decided to take a risk and just witness who I am right now. My passion to travel to Mars is superseding my need to know many details.
Who? Mars One!
How? Rocketship!
When? A decade plus!
What? Colonizing!
Why? Do you have to ask?
These things are important, it just turns out they aren't entirely important to me right now.. All I am able to experience now is this very real possibility that I MAY BE GOING TO MARS!
And the way that I am structured, information will only get in the way of that experience.
For the record: I do now know the answers to the questions the cute cashier guy asked and a bit more-- I'm not totally lame.
When I got back to Portland it was time to do the part I was dreading: the video portion. I was not looking forward to seeing myself on video (is it still called video? I feel like I am dating myself...) or hearing myself speak. It just sounded uncomfortable. My plan was to download a movie editing app and shoot it on my iPad. Then, using my magically acquired editing skills, I would whittle it down to the required 30-70 seconds. This way I could get rid of all the "ums" and ""ahs", take out the long pauses, etc. Essentially, my plan was to edit my video so that I looked as brilliant but accessible as possible..
As usual, my plans did not exactly pan out. Luckily, I am used to this plan-thwarting universe and I can (sometimes) recognize the thwarting as a good thing---if I can get over myself. The need to control stuff is a natural survival instinct that is not always in my best interest. The problem with my video was that there were THREE questions to answer and hardly any time to do it. Frankly, I think whoever designed the Mars One application is kind of brilliant--it really pushed just far enough that the entire process was doable, but only if you were serious and willing to commit.
So, the three questions were:
1. Why do you want to go to Mars?
2. What do you have to offer Mars?
3. Describe your sense of humor.
Yikes! Number three! I think the wisdom of the ages has collectively agreed that humor is one of the most elusive things in existence. How the frak am I supposed to describe my sense of humor? Hence, my plan: I will utilize my sense of humor to answer the other two questions, thus leaving more time for the first two without ignoring the third. I had a feeling not answering one would lead straight to the cutting room floor.
After 25 or so takes, I realized my plan sucked. Typically, I find myself able to pick things up with a certain amount of ease---experientially, I learn fast. But this video-shooting-performing-and-editing thing was ridiculous. The only way I was going to be able to make this work was if I did it in one take. Crikey.
I took a break and went to the grocery store. I was feeling a little defeated. My writing submissions, I felt, were going to be good---but this video thing was going to kill me. I shook my fist towards sky, yelling: "MAAAAAARRRSS! YOU BASTARD!!! Just kidding. I didn't do that. Would have been a little silly in the cereal isle. But, I did feel like doing something.
What I did felt a little silly after I did it, but it unexpectedly gave me a whole new lease on video making. This is what happened:
I went to the checkout counter to purchase my groceries. There was a young man standing at the end of the conveyer belt dragging my stuff over the scanner. Now, I fancy myself intuitive and like to imagine that sometimes I have Superpowers of Intuition--an extra sense that allows me to know more, perceive more, and understand more. (This is not really true. There is nothing "Super" about it. It is mostly accessible when I am in the present moment--and I think it must work this way for anyone.) However, it was apparent to me and my "Superpowers" that the young man checking my groceries was not happy. He was not rude or inappropriate in any way he just exuded "glumness"--and I felt a flash of empathy. I, too, have stood for long lengths of time at a checkstand, trying not to look at the clock, wondering how the frak my life landed me "here". Who really knows why he may have been glum, I just assumed, at that moment, that his job had something to do with it.
I behaved normally. I did not want to intrude on his bad day. He greeted me, barely looking up, and I said what I always say, smiling: "Hi, how is your day going?" He heaved a subtle sigh and acknowledged that it was "fine". Usually, I will attempt to chat a bit just in the name of acknowledging the human being not 2 feet away from me., but in this case, I didn't want to bug him and decided to leave him be. After a few silent moments he glanced up at me briefly and said, "So...what are you doing today?". I paused a half-moment as all these thoughts flooded my brain; "What am I doing today? I'm trying to get to fucking Mars that's what I am doing today!!". I tilted my head a little and frowned. Maybe my day might make his day more interesting. I leaned in a bit, and looked around conspiratorially and stage whispered, "Do you really want to know what I am doing today?"
He gave me a polite half shrug and a "Sure, why not?" But there was also a tiny spark of "what could she be doing that caused her to preface it with that?"
I leaned in further: "I am trying to finish my application to be a colonist on Mars." Then I stood back, with my eyebrows raised.
What do you think of that, checker guy?
Now, I had his attention. He actually paused scanning groceries for a moment before he resumed. He looked at me, disbelieving. "Mars? The planet Mars?"
I exaggerated my head nod---big bobbing motion: "Yep. The planet Mars." Eyebrows raised.
Now, we were engaged in a conversation. He straightened up a little and started asking questions. First, kind of incredulous and suspicious that I might be pranking him and then questions that transformed into a believing disbelief. At some point in our interaction he stopped and smiled and said, "Well, I'll tell you one thing: you're the most interesting person I've met today."
At some point I learned that he is not supposed to do cashiering and he does not like it. Normally he works in the back.
We finished our conversation while I paid for my groceries. He asked me a lot of questions I didn't know the answers to, and I tried not to pretend I knew something I didn't. (Super hard!). As we parted he smiled and I got my first "Good luck.....I guess!" (with many more to follow. This would later turn into "Congratulations.....I guess.")
I left uplifted. I had no way of knowing if our interaction meant anything to this young man (did I mention how cute he was?) but it did something for me. My perception was shifted. He had changed my day. I went home, put the groceries away and finally, later that afternoon, had my video. (Which, by the way, was only allowed to be 69 seconds--my 70 second video, when I went to upload it, was proclaimed too long by the Mars One site. I wanted to scream. Shaving off that last second took another hour!)
So, what's this all about anyway? The title of January 9th is "Information vs. Knowledge" and my visit with this person was the first time I started pondering this concept. He asked me questions that, when I heard them, I thought, "It would make sense that someone who claims to want to go to Mars would have bothered to find this out already. What is wrong with me?" The questions were pretty basic, really, and I couldn't believe I had hadn't been so engrossed in the whole endeavor that I didn't know EVERYTHING there was to know about it.
-How long did it take to get there?
-Was there going to be a place to live when I got there or did I have to build it?
-How many people were they looking for?
_How many people had applied already?
Hmmm..I didn't know the answers to ANY of these questions, and I felt kind of...dumb. So, I camouflaged my ignorance with things I did know. I deflected with other information: "That's a good question, I don't know, did you know we can never come back?"
I made a mental commitment to look this stuff up later and fast.
The interesting part: I didn't.
The question: why not? It makes sense, right? Wouldn't I want to know as much as possible? Am I not a seeker of knowledge with the strong "characteristics of a learner"? I look words up in the dictionary regularly--I love knowing stuff. A reference in a book/magazine/movie/TV show/conversation/song and I am on it for no other reason than I want to know, life can be interesting and the more I learn, the greater my perception is of "the whole". Is that a real place? Where is it, exactly? What did that person do? What were the basic tenets of that philosophy again? How does this work, that look, what did they do, how do those do whatever it is the frak they do?
And yet, I am ready to step on a spaceship, leave Earth forever, without needing to know all that much about it--at least for now.
And that's the crux of it, isn't it? What do I need to know right now?
It appears that this is a pattern in my life: I am drawn to knowledge, but kind of repelled by information.
My passion for Mars has prompted me to seek knowledge but shy away from information. Instead of judging myself for not being something I am not, I decided to take a risk and just witness who I am right now. My passion to travel to Mars is superseding my need to know many details.
Who? Mars One!
How? Rocketship!
When? A decade plus!
What? Colonizing!
Why? Do you have to ask?
These things are important, it just turns out they aren't entirely important to me right now.. All I am able to experience now is this very real possibility that I MAY BE GOING TO MARS!
And the way that I am structured, information will only get in the way of that experience.
For the record: I do now know the answers to the questions the cute cashier guy asked and a bit more-- I'm not totally lame.
