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my life before mars
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  • January
    • Jan 02 "What I Learned Watching Battlestar Galactica"
    • Jan 03-04 & Mar 17 "Will There Be Blank On Mars?"
    • Jan 06 "Feeling Star Treky"
    • Jan 07 "Is Mars My Vampire Bill?"
    • Jan 09 "Information vs. Knowledge"
    • Jan 10-13 "What I Learned Watching Star Trek"
    • Jan 16 "No Matter Where You Go--That's Right--There You Are"
    • Jan 21 "A Theory of Believability"
    • Jan 27-28 "Gateway to the Secrets of Manifold Wheat Production"
    • Jan 30--Feb 05 "How NOT To Lie or Paris-the-First-Time, Part I"
  • February
    • Feb 05 "Bloody Rock Yielding Territorial Baboon"
    • Feb 14-20 "How NOT to Lie or Between Two Parises" Parts I & II
    • Feb 21, 22 and 28th "How NOT to Lie or Between Two Parises" Part III
    • Feb 27 "Who the Fuck Keeps Money in an Umbrella?"
  • March
    • Mar 01 "Exile"
    • Mar 02 "Snowy is Right: Some People Never Learn!"
    • Mar 03 "Goddamned Sanctity of Life!"
    • Mar 04-Mar 21 "Parsley, Sage, Kierkegaard and Time"
    • Mar 07 "Use a God You Trust"
    • Mar 08 and 09 "The Vinegar Tasters"
    • Mar 10 "Long Live Portlandia"
    • Mar 13 "Classic Films Reinterpreted"
    • Mar 14 "Classic Comics Rewritten"
    • Mar 29-31 "San Francisco"
  • April
    • April 02-03 "The Goddamned Sanctity of Life Part II: The Bee"
    • April 16 "Classic Films Reinterpreted"
    • April 20 "The Eclipse, The Red Planet and One True Love"
    • April 30 "The 706 (705)"
  • May
    • May 23
  • My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza-pies
  • Star Maps
  • Things I Hope To Never See On Mars
  • "Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands"
  • Mars One Timeline
  • The Importance of the Apostrophe
  • Ethics, Morals, Principles and Ideals
March 03, 2014

goddamned sanctity of life!


This is me at 8:03am this morning after dropping my son off at school:

I am walking through the parking lot. It is raining pretty hard so I am looking at the ground; something I don't normally do for more than a second or two. I am almost to my car and I notice a writhing waterlogged earthworm, flailing on the pavement. She's not looking too bad--in terms of bloating (something we witness a lot out here in the Northwestern United States.). I almost start to pass her by but that spiritual training pokes me in the guts somewhere. 

Damn it! Now, I have ingested the earthworm's plight into my consciousness, and I am a part of her fucking story. I just want to go home.

"Fuck!" I say out loud to myself in the rainy parking lot.

I turn and bend down to grab her real quick to throw her an a nearby lawn. But of course, it is not that simple. She's not having any of it. Twist, turn, twist, turn, slip, turn. 

"Fuck!" I yell out loud to myself in the rainy parking lot.

I try again--Come on, Gillian, you used to teach kids--you had a whole earthworm worm curriculum at one point. Tickle it, pick it up, tickle it, pick it up. Damn it. She's not cooperating. 

"Fuck!" I yell out loud to myself in the rainy parking lot. 

Now I am getting really wet and mumbling to myself while still trying to pick the worm up which is still writhing and uncooperative.

 "Fucking......Buddhist..........principles....goddamn.... sanctity.......of life......DUDE!..........just LET me PICK YOU UP already!...........DUDE.........fuckfuckfuck..........FUCK"

Finally,  now that I am soaking wet and my hand is all disgusting from sustained interaction with the worm and the parking lot asphalt, I manage to grab her between the knuckles of my index and ring finger --kind of like one might hold a cigarette. 

"Finally!" I say out loud to myself in the rainy parking lot.

I gingerly step ten feet over to a grassy area and fling her down, at last, on some genuine earth.

"God!" I say out loud to myself in the rainy parking lot. "That was fucking hard enough. Fucking Buddhism"

And that was my epic spiritual interaction with the Universe this morning. I showed up.



Know your worms

Picture
This is a worm worth saving.

Picture
This is not a worm at all.
Picture
This is a worm-like stick.

Picture
This worm is not available for saving.
Picture
This is a rubber band.

Picture
This worm is savable.
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